Yesterday seemed like a dramatic day. I started the day off with a fantastic yoga session with my favourite yoga instructor. She has the voice of an angel and a superb way of describing poses to make yoga achievable for everybody and every body. She teaches an Intro to Meditation class in the evening at a different location on Thursday nights as well. Depending on how our ultrasound went in the afternoon, I was looking forward to giving this class a shot. For me it was two-fold. First, it gave me a chance to learn HOW to meditate, which is something I want to learn, but can’t seem to figure out. Second, it was another opportunity to spend time listening to this fabulous woman I’ve grown to admire.
After the morning yoga bout, I quickly darted to the library to pick up a few books on yoga, meditation and happiness. Then, I came home to chores that I had put off for a few days. After fixing a crock pot dinner and working on a mountain of laundry (for two people, its ridiculous), I sped off to the hospital for our ultrasound. As yesterday’s post mentioned, I was less than impressed with the medical staff and our experience there. Perhaps this spiralled me into my mood that I feel today? After the hospital visit, my fiancé had to rush back to work. I came home and wrote my post, then I made Yorkshire Pudding and gravy to go with the pot roast I’d put on earlier. When dinner was ready, instead of eating, my man decided to go fishing – a beautiful day will encourage a fishing trip after work every time. It was just as well, because I wanted to hit up this meditation class.
Well, off I went nervous about who would be my classmates and anxious of what this class would teach me. I felt at ease when I walked in the multi-purpose room because of my beautiful yoga teacher’s smiling face 🙂 She allowed me to sit on a yoga mat cross-legged like in yoga class rather than on a folding chair like some of the others. We shared some chit-chat getting to know each other, any past experiences of meditation, why we were there and tried two five-minute meditation sessions. It was ok… not great like my first yoga session had been, but just ok. I wondered whether or not I should show up for the next session next week. That’s when I heard her say, “I won’t be here next week, but someone will be filling in for me”. I was soooo disappointed. I wondered if I should come next week to give it another try and just experience it with a different teacher or whether I should bother at all now. I decided to make the decision when next Thursday came around.
When I got home, I got the newspapers and took them onto my deck to read them. I started reading the front page story, which happened to be about an event venue I used to work at. It made me angry to remember my time there. It was difficult to do that job and I was very unhappy there. A week or two ago, I went back to visit my old co-workers and to announce the news that I was finally pregnant (I used to tell them how I was so ready to start a family and wanted to have like 5 kids NOW). When I got there, it felt cold. I hadn’t been back in 5 or so months and thought they would be excited to see a familiar face and catch up. Nope… I didn’t tell them I was pregnant, because the receptionist (who was new to me) said the boss wasn’t there and he one lady I did know didn’t even get up from her desk when she saw me. Anyways, reading the front page put me in a mood. I couldn’t figure it out. I just had a peaceful day for the most part and now I was in this mood. I cried in the shower… it just came out, but it didn’t make me feel any better. I took a Gravol before bed because I didn’t want to toss and turn, I just wanted a new day.
But this morning, nothing changed. I started reading where I left off in “The Happiness Project” (September chapter) and thought I’d feel better, but I don’t. Grr… Serenity now! I guess I should try to meditate, huh?